Need to Save Marriage From Divorce?

Can Free Marriage Advice Online Really Help Us Get The Passion Back In Our Marriage? by Larry Bilotta

It would be a different world if man and woman put romance at the top of their priority list, wouldn’t it?  Very different and …well…unrealistic.
 
Unrealistic is the word most people use when they don't want to do something they’re uncomfortable with.

Let's take a look at what people mean when they say it's unrealistic in marriage to be romantic all the time.  Where’d they get this idea?  From everyone else, that's where.  A majority of married couples have come to believe that marriage means boring.  They have come to believe it means routine, work, obligation, pressure, not doing what you really want to do and a ton of other destructive ideas.
 
Well then let me ask you this…was dating the man or woman you were falling in love with boring?  Of course not!  But WHY is the real question here.
 
You say it's because the two of you were in love.  Most people don’t know this, but it has been scientifically proven that love starts a chemical reaction in the brain that last only a limited time, and then you must keep that love going with ideas on how to be romantic.  
 
So WHY does the romance stop? It’s simple. Couples don't feel it, so they don't do it.  I believe the problem is that you just don't know what to do to be romantic.  You don't have enough ideas or how to’s or even what romance looks like when you’re married.
 
Let me introduce you to a man who can help you come up with more ideas on how to be romantic than you could use in a lifetime of marriage.  This man has made it his life mission to teach married couples how live a romantic life with each other.  His name is Michel Webb.
 
Michael and his wife Athena say they haven't had a single fight in their 18 year marriage. Sounds hard to believe, I know, but maybe romance is one of the keys to a happy marriage after all.
 
When it comes to romance, Michael's Webb is the “go-to guy” on how to keep love and passion in your relationship. His web sites have over 20 million visitors a year and as you might expect, he's been on Oprah and over 500 radio and television shows.
 
Michael Webb is the heavy hitter in the world of tips and how to’s for creating and reviving romance.  I think the reason he’s the romantic expert lies in the family where he grew up with his six sisters.
 
His mother went through two unsuccessful marriages because Michael says he saw his sisters abused by what he called "various men in their lives."  It was during his teen years that his mother took an opportunity to give him an insight into the real need of his sisters and his mother's own failed marriages.  Her explanation to young Michael was that his sisters were not expecting to be treated as queens, and yet, they wanted two things from the man in their life.  1) to be told often they are loved and 2) to be shown often they are special.  That made an impact and eventually he would become the man that would help every woman get what his mother and sisters never had.
 
Michael has created many kinds of games that put both fun and romance into your marriage.  He teaches how to write love letters, have creative dates, use humor, music and even food to express feelings.  It's the sheer volume of ideas that makes him predominant expert on romance.
 
Michel has even found a company that creates personalized romance novels just for the two of you.  You create your own romance novel just by entering personal details such as your names, eye color, and favorite things along with your own paperback romance novel theme.  And in the mail comes two paperback books that have the two of you as the main characters.
 
Putting romance into your marriage will need to start slow if you've never been the romantic type or you can’t remember how the two of you got started in the first place.  This is especially true for men who are typically not known for it, yet the vast majority of women do have this need.  It's something men should know because it's something they already believe.  That belief is: What goes around comes around.  That is, what you send out, comes back to you.  If a man learns how to be romantic, the things he loves most will come back to him.

I’ve devoted a page on my site to Michael Webb’s teachings and 5 of his most popular books that you can find at http://www,.youcansavethismarriage.com/romance/
 
They say marriage is boring and a chore, but who are THEY anyway? And why would you listen to an expert that doesn’t exist?  I'd much rather listen to an expert who knows the secret to bringing romance back into your marriage.

If you’d like to get access my free, 20 video series, and instant access to my 5 Question Marriage Quiz that will help you Discover the Future Health of Your Marriage, just visit http://www.top20questions.com for free marriage advice right now.

PART 2 OF: Living In a Sexless Marriage? How To Create The Prince Charming You Planned To Marry

PART 2: "The Indisputable Power of a Woman - Written by a man"

This is part 2 of the controversial article "Living In a Sexless Marriage? How To Create The Prince Charming You Planned To Marry

In part 1 of this article, we discussed how women have the power to earn the complete and total devotion of their husbands if they are willing to be the FIRST to do something positive for their marriage.

Despite what most people think, the simple act of marriage does NOT guarantee a man or a woman's devotion to you. When resentment, selfishness and "what's in it for me" takes precedence over "to love and honor til death do us part", ALL BETS ARE OFF.

And here's what YOU, as a woman, can do about it...

You could learn of your husband's desires through a hand written note, a phone call, an email or even a long talk face-to-face.

Women "in the know" let it be known to their husband that he will never be "verbally attacked" for any desire he might express.

When you know your husband's inner-most desires, it's time for him to learn how to fulfill YOU as a woman!

You could start by describing in a playful way, what would make you really happy....

These are tasks that only your HUSBAND can fulfill. You might describe a day that starts with the breakfast in bed for you and the kids. Then throughout the day, your husband empties the garbage, cleans up after pets, repairs a broken step and then takes the kids down to the pool till noon.

You could excitedly chatter on about how might make plans for the babysitter to arrive at 7:00pm, so the two of you can have an evening of "alone time" at one of your favorite restaurants.

There, your husband would playfully dote over you and gaze at you across the table as if you were the only woman left in the world. By the end of the evening, it would be clear to you that no other woman in the world even COMPARES to you!

If your marriage is suffering and the two of you have lost the close connection you once had, it wouldn't hurt to try this out for yourself.

Here's what all this boils down to: When a wife explains how her husband can excite her, there are no words to describe what happens in her man. “Amazing”, “Profound” and “Awesome” all fall short. This is the power that only a woman has to profoundly move her husband toward an almost blind loyalty.

Just the fact that she genuinely wanted to hear his desires (in a playful and intriguing way) sends him in a totally new direction. Toward HER! Not to his friends, not to his golf game, not to his coaching, not to his career success…TO HER!

Now there is one word of caution I must point out: When marriages are failing, there is so much resentment built up in the relationship, that even when you try this technique, you may not see the results you originally hoped for.

You must also clean up "past hurts" with a “sweep away day”. Before you can take action on the technique above, the pain that you both inflicted upon each other at some point in the past must be faced, admitted and forgiven.

This is an act for a separate day. Before you undertake your “sweep away day”, you must know something about men.

Men are emotionally insecure in all but the rarest cases. When it comes to emotions, men know virtually nothing about their own feelings. Because feelings are something most men cannot process, talk about or understand, it’s easy for a man to be full of FEAR.

Most often, a man will disguise his fear under blame, cruel jokes, accusations or broadcasting what’s wrong with you to the world or worse…he could ignore you completely. No matter what the bad behavior, know this: Your man is dreadfully afraid of being rejected by you. If you’ve been treated badly, his fear of rejection is behind it all.

Men have no ability to feel fearless when it comes to the subject of learning how to make you happy. It’s such a risky subject with so many possibilities of rejection that most men decide to never even approach it. They unconsciously think it's far better to stay on the safe subjects of kids doing homework, new job opportunities or asking why you forgot to buy the peanut butter than face up to the reality of your rejection.

I hope you're beginning to see that a woman has an indisputable power to create the man of her dreams. A man has virtually no power to create the woman of his dreams. He wouldn't even know where to begin.

To become one of these rare "women in the know" follow this action plan below:

Step 1: Plan your “sweep away day” and admit how you might have hurt him in the past. Admit it, ask his forgiveness and sweep it away. Next, ask him if he has anything he wants to share with you, but don’t push. Let him forgive and forget for awhile. Get back to the business of living but begin planning how you are going to approach him to discover his inner-most desires and wishes. Be sure to speak to him with a playful sense of excitement in your voice. Just get him to look forward to it.

Step 2: Plan the day you will learn about his desires. When you finish hearing about his desires and you’ve reacted to what he says with playfulness and smiles, ask him if he wants to learn how to turn you on completely. Share this with him when he enthusiastically wants to hear the answer. It's really important to inject a certain level of playfulness in this - don’t just rattle off your list.

Step 3: Once you know what he wants and he knows what you want, begin to talk about a planned date on the calendar when YOU will get the day that you want and HE will get the night he won’t forget.

But always remember: Be fun, be playful and create exciting expectations during these conversations. You love this man, right? SO SHOW IT! Before your big day, get your husband to once again share his desires through phone calls and emails. You will also be sharing what you talked about as well. Remember: It all leads up to your husband hearing you say what all men dream of… “You excite me”.

Step 4: On the big day, watch him work! See how motivated he is to do all you've talked about over the past few weeks. NEVER criticize anything he does. Support his intent, not his execution. Notice all he does and compliment him. Be playful with little kisses, little hugs, and little hints of encouragement all day. On the big day, let yourself go. This is the man who wants to fulfill you. Let him.

The more excited you become throughout your private evening, there is only one conclusion your man can draw from all of this. He got you to feel that way. You’ve arrived! You are one of those unique, unusual and rarest of the rare… a "woman in the know".

WARNING! I must make ONE exception as to who this technique was designed for:

If you are a woman from a traumatized childhood, where your first ten years on Earth were met by emotional or physical abuse, you will find these instructions almost impossible to understand.

The reason? The pain of those years keeps re-playing inside you and never lets you rest, relax, enjoy, forget and just live. That childhood pain can be so pressing that loving anyone else becomes an insurmountable climb to Mount Everest. If this describes you, don’t attempt this climb yet. You’re probably not ready.

You need to find relief so you can cut that pain out of your life. You can start by reading my free article, Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is it Helping or Hurting Your Marriage? I believe you may find something here that could lead you to the relief you’re seeking so you can finally become a woman with an undisputable power to create the man of your dreams.

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Since the publication of this article, I have been overwhelmed with strong female opinions against my stance. For this reason, I have attached the following epilogue addressing these concerns...

I reference an excellent quote from one woman who read about the technique described above. This quote perfectly portrays the vast majority of American women who want their men to start meeting their needs.

"A woman would like conversation but is not allowed to interrupt during the football games, or the golf games, or the basketball games, or the baseball games, or the evening news but she should be ecstatic and ready to drop whatever she was doing when he desires to have sex with her - and she should be thrilled he is giving her his time???..

Here's what all this boils down to: Who will be the first one to put their spouse's desires ahead of their own? THE HUSBAND? OR THE WIFE?

My question to you is this: Who is more difficult to please? The man or the woman?

Is a man hard to please? Sometimes.

If the man has a very damaged childhood, he is VERY hard to please, but if he is not too damaged, he is easy to please because there is ONE thing he wants to hear again and again… "you excite me".

But is a woman hard to please?

The vast majority of women are complex to the point that they don't understand what makes them feel fulfilled and happy. If a woman cannot understand or explain all that is required to please her, how could a man who has no understanding of emotions?

Let's take a look at a woman's emotional needs: Now tell me, are these complex?

• She wants a man thinking of her not only when she is NOT around, BUT ALSO...when she IS.

• He should make her breakfast , take her out for coffee when she least expects it, notice that she is tired and take over some of her normal chores, give her surprise back rubs at the kitchen table, bring her home a relevant little gift on a Tuesday and more.

• Women are "into" their children, relatives, friends, pets, anything or anyone that can be cared for. When a man takes an interest in asking about any person she cares about and does it with CONCERN, she lights up like a Christmas tree. When he cares for the people she cares about, it's a big “turn on”.
  

• She wants her husband to listen with interest as she talks. She talks not for the purpose of exchanging information, but because she's wired to pour herself into other people. This takes place when he listens to anything that comes out of her mouth. Each time he listens and says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?”, he's allowing her to pour herself into him.

• Women want to feel PHYSICALLY safe and they want to know that their man will do all that is required to make her feel protected.
  

Now on the opposite end of the spectrum, here are the needs of a man:

Now I pose the same question to you again, are these needs complex?

• He wants to hear her say "you excite me!"

At the foundation of this article, is the following rational:

By nature alone, men far more selfish than women when their needs are not being met. Women are less selfish by nature, even if their needs are not met by their husbands.

Now back to the most important question: Who should make the first move to meet their spouse's needs?

The Woman Has An Undeniable Power Over A man.

1. Because her giving nature
2. Because of her sexual power which a man craves
3. Because of the simplicity of a man's greatest desire..."you excite me!"

Think of it this way "You can pump an unused pump till your back breaks and still, no water will come out of the ground. But when you pour about three quarts of water down the pump first, in short order, gallons will flow out effortlessly.

It's no different with your marriage.

Should any woman decide to "prime the male pump", if done correctly, her man will hear her say "you excite me!" The next morning, she will discover that her man...

• Thinks of her when she is not around and when she is.

• Does things like make her breakfast , take her out for coffee, notice she is tired and take over normal chores, give her surprise back rubs, bring home a relevant little gift and more.

• Takes an interest in asking about people she cares about and does it with concern.

• Smiles at her a lot.

• Listens with interest as she talks and allows her to pour herself into him through conversation. As he listens, he says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?
  

• Makes sure she is always feeling physically safe and does what he must so she feels protected.

All this would happen without her asking, demanding, nagging or defending. A woman can create the man of her dreams in a week...I've seen it happen over and over again with women I work with who are "in the know".

Why else would the phrase "That poor pathetic slob" only be applied to men, but never to women? It's because, compared to women, men are so simple and so completely ignorant of relationships.

So what's the moral of the story? Prime the pump and be rewarded ladies.

Now I have to mention that if you just can't bring yourself to take the first move and create the man of your dreams...

...or if your husband wants nothing to do with the marriage...

...or if you are a MAN reading this and you WISH your wife would try this technique but you realize there's not a chance that she would at this point...

...then know that there IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU...

If you haven't submitted an entry for my Second Chance program already, I would strongly suggest that you do so right now.


Here's how it works:

1. Tell me why you think your marriage deserves a second chance by submitting your entry here: Give Your Marriage A Second Chance

2. Call my assistant Kristen at 262-644-6815 or email her at kristen @ stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com to arrange a time for us to speak one-on-one for a complementary, 30 minute consultation.


During our call together, I will help you understand HOW your marriage has gotten to this level of despair and also give you my 3-step plan on how you can save your marriage WITH or WITHOUT your spouse's participation.

Now I realize that some people are skeptical as to how one person can save their marriage when their spouse has already filed for divorce, said, "I don't love you anymore" or moved out of the home...

But the real secret is becoming what I call "an environment changer". This is one of the methods I teach in my Marriage Lifeline program that has successfully helped individuals save their marriage...even when their spouse had NO part of it at all.

It IS possible to transform your marriage alone. I have PERSONALLY saved my own marriage and now I'd like to help you do the same. It only takes one to heal a marriage.

If you're 100% devoted to saving your marriage, you have what it takes to become one of my many success stories.

So submit your entry to my Second Chance program today.

There is no obligation to buy anything, I simply offer this service to couples as a way to find out if there is STILL hope for their marriage. If you have any questions, once again, feel free to contact my assistant Kristen at 262-644-6815. She'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

To a less stressful and more fulfilling marriage.

Larry Bilotta

Why So Many Marraiges are Failing...

Click here to hear a special audio message from Larry Bilotta about one of the biggest reasons so many marriages are failing these days.



Divorce used to be viewed as a sign that you had "failed" at marriage. But in today's society for many people, they see divorce as a sign of freedom. Even those who would consider themselves to be religious and see divorce as being "unwholy", are now getting a divorce because it has become more socially acceptible than ever before.

The next generation of children are growing up in broken homes. Instead of dealing with normal issues like puberty and other social issues, children are now faced with parents who start a new life and even a new family of their own.

But most couples don't know any better. We are all raised to believe that it's simply "tradition" to have a big wedding with lots of people, go on a luxurious honeymoon and then go on your merry way being..well..married.

Many couples actually feel pressured from their very own family members to have a big wedding. Then once the wedding and honeymoon are over, the couple is faced with a large amount of debt from their elaborate celebration.

The first couple years of marriage are usually relatively painless, but as time goes on, the couple starts to get back into their normal routines and eventually they stop meeting each other's Ultimate Expectations.

Why? Simply because they didn't realize they were meeting them in the first place! The downward spiral that leads to divorce begins when one spouse becomes more discontent than the other. And that's when resentment sets in...along with that "little voice inside your head".

You know the one.

It's the one that says, "Why should I have dinner ready when he gets home, what has he done for ME lately? He comes home, flips on the TV and that's it...no quality time like we used to have!"

...or...

"Why can't she just leave me alone sometimes! I just want to come home and just relax! But all she wants to do is talk, talk talk. I need some peace and quiet for once!"

The big problem lays in that couples don't realize they're on the Secret Path to Divorce until it's too late...usually when one spouse brings up the "D" word or says, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you".

And that's when I get the call...or in most cases..the email. Most people want to know if their spouse has reached the "Point of No Return". They desperately need to know if there is any hope left for their marriage.

And I don't blame them! When you're struggling with uncertainty, hanging on just a thread of hope, divorce may start sounding appealing for the mere fact that you won't have to worry anymore!

But I don't want you to give up hope just yet.

I've pulled marriages out of divorce court as a judge put a hold on the proceedings insisting that the couple get some help first before they go on with the divorce.

The couples end up tearing up their divorce papers.

I say this to you, not as a promise, but as an indication that anything can happen while the "divorce machine grinds up it's marriages".

If you want to find out for sure whether your spouse has crossed the "Point of No Return", or if you can still keep this marriage together, go to http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/consultation.html. There you will find a page where you can sign up for a 30 minute consulation between you, me and your spouse.

After working with couples over the years, I've noted what distinguishes someone who still believes there is hope for their marriage, from someone who is ready to call it quits. They use very specific words and voice inflection that I can't decifer through an email.

That is why this needs to be done through a phone call.

I only charge a small fee of $25 for the consultation to make up for my time, but if you choose to go ahead with the Marriage Lifeline program, we will happily refund the $25 you paid for the call.

If this sounds like something that might help you right now, just go to http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/consultation.html and we'll schedule a time to talk that will work for all of us.

To a less stressful and more fulfillng marriage,

Larry Bilotta

Women Say a Good Marriage is NOT About Money

Good Marriage Not About Money? Who says?

University researchers…God bless em! I want to share with you yet another study reported as "in sharp contrast to academic conventional wisdom". News-Medical.net's Women's Health News passed on it's findings. It turns out that when professors at the University of Virginia spent their "professor-ly" hours digging into the National Survey of Families and Households' research (note: researchers researching research), a government survey of 5,000 couples, the professors figured out that women want exactly what my report titled The 2 Greatest Needs of Men and Women said they wanted…Emotional Security and Financial Security.

And why are the professors' findings in sharp contrast with conventional academic wisdom? The reason why is because they found that women are happier when their men earn the big bucks while they stay at home taking care of their house/children. Now is that a big surprise to you? You'll have to excuse my problem with professors, universities and research in general. With the hundreds of thousands of hours they spend studying the rest of us, they should have, after all these years, figured out that their studies have not been much help. We are still divorcing at the same rate and we have far more therapists now than we did 20 years ago.

My point is this: We don't need more research. We need simplicity. We need to know how we work and fall into disrepair and why…but in SIMPLE terms. That's what I spent 27 years doing. Simplifying. Every day I simplify the truth about being human for married couples who are in trouble and they are more than grateful.

Here's the article in full....

News-Medical.Net
Women's Health News

According to researchers in the U.S. as far as women and marriage are concerned the single most important factor for most wives was their husbands' emotional engagement.

It appears that money, the division of household chores and other factors all take a back seat.

The study by University of Virginia sociologists W. Bradford Wilcox and Steven L. Nock found that women whose husbands earn the lion's share of income, who don't work outside the home, or who share a strong commitment to lifelong marriage with their husbands report the highest levels of marital happiness.

This according to the authors, is in sharp contrast to academic conventional wisdom.

It was found that perceptions of fairness are important for married women and those who report that the division of housework is fair, are happier in their marriages than women who think that their husbands don't do their fair share.

The study, "What's Love Got to do With It? Equality, Equity, Commitment and Women's Marital Quality," draws on the National Survey of Families and Households, which sampled more than 5,000 couples around the United States.

In a related but as yet unpublished study by Wilcox, it was found that even women who support egalitarian ideas, those who think that men and women should both earn income and share housework equally, are happier in their marriages when their husbands earn the lion's share of income and when they do not work outside of the home.

Wilcox says that regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider as long as he is also emotionally engaged.

Most research on American marriages has focused on the division of housework and paid work and who does what inside and outside the home.

This new study however shows wives care most about how affectionate and understanding their husbands are, and how much quality time they spend with their husbands.

Finally, women who have more traditional attitudes -- who believe, for instance, that women should take the lead in taking care of the home and family, and that men should take the lead in earning -- are happier in their marriages, report more affection and understanding from their husbands, and spend more quality time with their husbands.

Commitment also appears to matter and women who share with their husbands a strong commitment to lifelong marriage are much more likely to report that they are happy in their marriages, and that they are happy with the affection and understanding they receive from their husbands, compared to women who do not have such a commitment to marriage.

Shared commitment seems to generate mutual trust and higher levels of emotional investment on the part of husbands -- both factors which promote marital happiness among women.

Fairness does matter in shaping the quality and character of women's marriages.

Married women are happier in their marriages when they think housework is divided fairly and they perceive their marriage to be equitable.

Wilcox is an assistant professor of sociology at U.Va. and currently is serving as a resident fellow at the Institute for American Values in New York City.

Nock is a professor of sociology at U.Va.

To read article and studies: http://www.news-medical.net/?id=16353

The study appears in the March issue of Social Forces, and is available online as a pdf. The unpublished study by Wilcox is also linked.

Does a Cheating Wife Inevitably Lead to Divorce?

To avoid a divorce, instead of confronting your cheating wife, try asking yourself where YOU went wrong. After all…women don’t leave great guys.

I don’t know a thing about you, but I’ll bet that your cheating wife is causing you more pain and stress than you’d care to admit. But let me ask you; instead of immediately making accusations and placing blame, did you ever stop and ask yourself “where did I go wrong?”

If you haven’t…don’t worry, most men NEVER DO. What I want you to do for a moment is shift your thoughts away from all the information out there telling you to focus on “EXPOSING your cheating wife”….and shift your thinking to the following statement…

“Women DON’T LEAVE great guys.”

It’s true. Why on Earth would your wife fall into the arms of another man when she has a caring, compassionate and sensitive man at home?

So again…I want you to ask yourself…“Where did I go wrong?”

I know you may be filled with anger and resentment thinking…“who does this guy think he is blaming ME for all this, it’s my WIFE who has been unfaithful…NOT ME!”

I want to make it clear that I am NOT placing blame on YOU…and I am NOT placing blame on YOUR WIFE either.

I need you to put your feelings aside for a moment and think about this logically….

The only reason you’re faced with a cheating wife right now is because your wife has a set of needs that you were not able to fulfill. But that’s okay because SHE did not communicate them to you in the first place…so you had no way of knowing what you were doing wrong!

Have you ever noticed the language of most “infidelity experts” out there on the internet centers on one theme: "catch, prove, divorce". Their premise is simple….

Your wife’s “crime” is unforgivable and her punishment will give you a sense of relief.

These “experts” make you believe that you’ll feel righteous after catching your cheating wife because SHE’S the villain and YOU’RE the good guy.

But after all the “dust settles” and everything is out in the open…reality starts to set in.

Your cheating wife has left you with not one, but TWO possible roads you can take.

The first road of “exposing your cheating wife” leads to confrontation, argument and most often…divorce. If you choose to get a divorce without knowing the REAL REASON your wife cheated on you in the first place, you’d just be glossing over the problem…instead of fixing it and preventing it from happening again in the future.

And before you decide to take this road to any degree, you must first consider the REAL COST of choosing this road.

Confronting your cheating wife will most likely bring on a higher level of stress for you because you’ll come to find out that there’s a BIG difference between SUSPECTING your wife is cheating and actually finding SOLID PROOF that she’s been unfaithful.

Finding ACTUAL evidence of an affair is NEVER easy, despite what the authors say.

But here’s the big question…

Will your wife become more cooperative and interested in you if you blame and confront her (especially when she knows she’s wrong), OR if you understand why she feels the way she does?

The answer is obvious.

Confronting your cheating wife will only bring on divorce and destroy the lives of your children. But the question is; can you stomach the proof?

The other road you can take is to draw your cheating wife back into your arms instead of throwing away what the two of you have invested in over the years.

You may be thinking you don’t stand a chance to win over your cheating wife from the other man. She may have told you that she’s “in love” with the other man because HE gives her what YOU never have.

If you want to find out how to ‘divorce proof’ your marriage and become the man she’ll NEVER want to leave, read the FREE Special Report titled The Secret Path to Divorce.

What you’ll learn will do MUCH more for you than learning how to become a great “spy”.

Instead, it will help you realize that WOMEN DON’T LEAVE GREAT GUYS.

Larry Bilotta, an expert on restoring broken marriages, gives struggling couples new hope by openly sharing his secret to turning his own 27 year nightmare of a marriage into something rich, fulfilling and lasting. Larry’s special report, The "Secret Path" to Divorce teaches you how find out if you’re already on this slippery slope and how to stay off it forever. Get your FREE Special Report at http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/secret.html.

What Makes Cheating Spouses Cheat?

Is it really over when cheating spouses are in love with the other man/woman? Win your spouse over by understanding the REAL reason why they cheated in the first place.

Have you ever wondered what makes cheating spouses cheat in the first place? They certainly didn’t get married with the intention of being unfaithful to their spouse, so why did they do it?

Many "infidelity experts" on the internet these days are offering solutions on how to find PROOF that will expose your spouse or catch them "in the act". But instead of putting 100% of your effort in finding solid proof, your energy would be better spent understanding what went wrong in your marriage.

It’s fairly common for "chronic" cheating spouses to give up on a relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult.

Rather than admitting and accepting that there’s a problem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfill their needs. These "needs" could be anything from a physical connection to strictly intellectual relations leading to an emotional affair.

Affairs take place because one spouse’s needs are no longer being met by their partner. Cheating spouses are then drawn to someone else who WILL (temporarily) meet those needs.

What increases the chance of an affair taking place is when a man marries a woman who idealizes love and spends her whole life going in and out of marriages in search of her "perfect soul mate".

Soul mates may exist in romance movies but in real life, it takes work to create a lasting relationship.

Like it or not, marriage is WORK…but it doesn’t have to be "hard" work.

If you want win your spouse over after an affair, you need to know how to meet his/her needs.

Every couple goes into marriage with expectations of each other that are NEVER CLEARLY DISCUSSED simply because they don’t REALLY understand, nor can they clearly explain what their own expectations are…let alone their spouses!

Cheating spouses cheat because they’re in search of unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs. It’s as simple as this…..

If YOU aren’t meeting your spouse’s needs, they will find SOMEONE ELSE who WILL!

This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don’t last.

Let me explain…

When your spouse met this other man/woman, they THOUGHT that this other person was meeting their needs, but what was really happening is they were blinded by the "Romance" stage of a relationship.

You and your spouse went through this stage also. If you think back to the beginning of your relationship, you may not have noticed at the time, but the two of you were on your BEST behavior.

Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse was a different person back then.

The reason?

There is actually a chemical released in your brain that makes you feel "infatuated" with this other person. It would even be safe to say that cheating spouses can’t think straight when they’re caught up in this "biological phenomenon".

This is also why some couples make irrational decisions early in their relationship, like going off to Las Vegas and getting married on a whim. Down the road, after the Romance stage of their relationship is over, many of these couples eventually get divorced.

So if you’re worried that your cheating spouse is "in love" with this other person, chances are, the affair is VERY short lived…which means you STILL have a chance to win over your spouse!

You owe it to yourself (and your children if you have them) to give your marriage a second chance. In fact, here’s a statistic that might give you some inspiration….

A study from the Institute for American Values found that "almost eight out of 10 couples who avoided divorce were happily married five years later."

If you can just get over this affair, this obstacle in your marriage, and start meeting each other’s needs, I promise you, your marriage will be much stronger and more fulfilling than it was…even BEFORE the affair took place.

Want to get back on track with the one you love? Find out if you're already on The "Secret Path" To Divorce and learn how to stay off it forever. Get your FREE Special Report at: http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/secret.html.

Straight-Forward Advice On Marriage That WORKS!

Let’s face it; if you’re looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice that’s out there.

But the sad fact is, that’s what most people in your situation do…they RESEARCH…but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn about because they come up with “excuses” for why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.

Well let me tell you….your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage was…my “situation” was NOT different either…

So why am I qualified to give YOU advice on marriage? Because I managed to save my marriage…on my own…after 27 years of fighting, car chases and battles over her way vs. my way.

Our marriage was as bad as it gets.

You see, I married my COMPLETE OPPOSITE. In fact, you’d think we were from different planets if you compared our habits, values, priorities and temperaments… and that’s before you take into account our male/female differences….which brings me to one of the best pieces of advice on marriage that I can give you…

1. LEARN THE “5 LOVE LANGUAGES”

When I discovered this critical bit of advice on marriage, it really opened my eyes as to EXACTLY what made my wife happy. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do!

Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Live Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved…and what they need from you!

When I found out what made my wife feel loved…I was SHOCKED!

She wanted “acts of service” of all things! I thought that since I liked “words of affirmation”…that she would too!

I hated doing “acts of service” (a.k.a. chores around the house, gardening and repairs) and that’s exactly why I wasn’t meeting her needs! I didn’t realize what I was doing wrong until I read this book.

…which reminds me…here’s another great piece of advice on marriage you need to keep in mind...

Many couples make the BIG mistake of treating their spouse the way they WISH their spouse would treat THEM!

In other words, smothering your spouse in hugs and kisses isn’t going to make him/her want to hug/kiss YOU more if what they actually need from YOU is “acts of service” like taking out the trash or cleaning the house!

If you want to improve your marriage and have your spouse meet your needs, by meeting theirs FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it here.

Now I’ve never seen anyone talk about this last piece of advice on marriage, so pay close attention…

2. YOU CAN’T IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE IT FIRST

Many people search for the recipe for a happy marriage, in a quest for a simple LIST of things they can go do and then simply “check the items off of their list.”

But unfortunately, that’s not how REAL married life works. I could give you a long list of advice on marriage that would improve your relationship, but that list won’t do you any good. If you’re like most married couples, you won’t act on ANY advice on marriage… until you first feel like doing it FIRST.

Telling you to “go do something” to improve your marriage is NOT going to make a difference in your relationship when you resent your spouse and feel SO negative that you can’t even bring yourself to do it!

The key is actually FEELING LIKE doing something positive for your marriage…and THEN doing it.

Believe me; it’s MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when you’re feeling optimistic about your marriage…than it is to “force” yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “How do I get to the point where I FEEL LIKE doing something to improve my marriage? I’m so frustrated with my spouse right now!”

Well, I’m glad you asked. I offer a FREE mini-course on “How to Overcome Your Negative feelings…the Moment they Appear.” If you’re at all interested, keep reading so you can get started on the mini-course right away…

Larry Bilotta’s FREE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself today.

Why Aren't YOU Using This Marriage Saving Tip?

Do you find that things would just be so much easier if your spouse would do things your way? Most of the time, this just isn’t the case.

So you married your complete opposite, your relationship is stressful and the two of you can’t even agree on what to have for dinner. Does this mean that for the rest of your life, you are subject to the painful battle of fighting over “your way vs. his/her way” unless one of you gives in?

No! There is no need to argue over “who does what which way”. And most importantly, neither of you need to change who you are.

You’re about to learn the single most important marriage saving tip that can drastically lower your stress with your spouse. If you understand what you and your spouse value in life, you can cut your relationship stress in half! (Like I did with MY wife!)

It’s true. I developed this marriage saving tip after using it to transform my OWN marriage. My 32 year marriage is PROOF that this marriage saving tip can work for YOUR marriage!

Okay, let’s get started…

The first thing you need to do is talk with your spouse about the things you passionately believe in…or feel strongly against.

You can start by discussing the little things in life that bug you (and no, I’m NOT talking about your spouse!) ;-)

Let me give you an example…

My wife absolutely HATES gum chewing. Now I’m not talking about people who silently chew their gum with their mouths closed, I’m talking about people who, when they pop a piece of gum in their mouth, EVERYONE knows it.

They pop their gum, smack and chew with their mouths wide open. Yes, I know it sounds trivial, but it absolutely drives her NUTS.

Now, if I didn’t know WHY this little pet peeve of hers drives her ‘up the wall’, I would simply think she’s crazy. I might even start becoming annoyed and aggravated whenever she starts to verbally attack the nearest “irritating gum chewer”.

Now here’s the part of this marriage saving tip that most people are not aware of…

EVERY one of your pet peeves, habits or BELIEFS are created by a memory or event from the past.

Take my wife for example. The reason she despises people who pop and crack their gum is because HER MOTHER would do it without any regard for her feelings…throughout her ENTIRE childhood. My wife hated it THEN and she still hates gum chewing TODAY. It simply brings back too many painful memories.

To her, a gum chewer might as well be scratching nails on a chalkboard or screeching a fork against a plate.

The main idea you should walk away with from this marriage saving tip is that you need to discuss with your spouse WHY you do things a certain way, WHY you hate certain things and WHY you love other things.

NOTE: Be sure to talk about the ‘problem areas’ in your marriage. That IS the point of this discussion after all. Give your spouse your perspective on ‘hot topics’ in your marriage which could be anything from punctuality, family values, religion, eating habits or even personal privacy.

Ask your spouse questions and have them do the same. Ask questions like…

1. “Honey, when you were young, did your mother or father have a problem being on time?”

2. “What happened in your childhood that makes you hate clutter and messes so much?”

WARNING: Don’t make this sound like an accusation! If you do, your positive discussion will be over!

When you ask your spouse these questions, s/he will probably struggle for words or not come up with an immediate explanation for WHY he or she does these things.

And that’s okay. Try to jog his/her memory by recalling your own memories about this subject…

For example:

“The reason I __ (fill in the blank) __ is because my parents __ (fill in the blank) ____ when I was a child.”

Remember: You and your spouse were shown how to live by your parents or guardians. They shaped most of what you value and believe in today. The point of this discussion is to understand WHY the two of you disagree on any given topic. This will help the two of you accept each other because you’ll no longer feel threatened by your very different values in life.

So there you have it. Use this marriage saving tip to get to the source of your problems instead of focusing on the ‘little issues’ (like gum chewing). If you don’t know which values are causing conflict in your marriage, you’ll never be able to truly resolve your disagreements.

When I finally understood WHY my wife’s values were so different from my own, the stress in my marriage was DRASTICALLY reduced. I know you’ll find the same to be true when you put this marriage saving tip to use in your own marriage.

If you don’t know how to recognize the WARNING SIGNS that lead to divorce, before you know it, your marriage could be over. Get your FREE Special Report “The Secret Path to Divorce” to learn how to recognize when you’re on the path to divorce…and if you are…how to get off and STAY OFF…before it’s too late. Go to: http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/secret.html right now.

I hope you've enjoyed this article!

All the best,

Larry Bilotta