Women Say a Good Marriage is NOT About Money

Good Marriage Not About Money? Who says?

University researchers…God bless em! I want to share with you yet another study reported as "in sharp contrast to academic conventional wisdom". News-Medical.net's Women's Health News passed on it's findings. It turns out that when professors at the University of Virginia spent their "professor-ly" hours digging into the National Survey of Families and Households' research (note: researchers researching research), a government survey of 5,000 couples, the professors figured out that women want exactly what my report titled The 2 Greatest Needs of Men and Women said they wanted…Emotional Security and Financial Security.

And why are the professors' findings in sharp contrast with conventional academic wisdom? The reason why is because they found that women are happier when their men earn the big bucks while they stay at home taking care of their house/children. Now is that a big surprise to you? You'll have to excuse my problem with professors, universities and research in general. With the hundreds of thousands of hours they spend studying the rest of us, they should have, after all these years, figured out that their studies have not been much help. We are still divorcing at the same rate and we have far more therapists now than we did 20 years ago.

My point is this: We don't need more research. We need simplicity. We need to know how we work and fall into disrepair and why…but in SIMPLE terms. That's what I spent 27 years doing. Simplifying. Every day I simplify the truth about being human for married couples who are in trouble and they are more than grateful.

Here's the article in full....

News-Medical.Net
Women's Health News

According to researchers in the U.S. as far as women and marriage are concerned the single most important factor for most wives was their husbands' emotional engagement.

It appears that money, the division of household chores and other factors all take a back seat.

The study by University of Virginia sociologists W. Bradford Wilcox and Steven L. Nock found that women whose husbands earn the lion's share of income, who don't work outside the home, or who share a strong commitment to lifelong marriage with their husbands report the highest levels of marital happiness.

This according to the authors, is in sharp contrast to academic conventional wisdom.

It was found that perceptions of fairness are important for married women and those who report that the division of housework is fair, are happier in their marriages than women who think that their husbands don't do their fair share.

The study, "What's Love Got to do With It? Equality, Equity, Commitment and Women's Marital Quality," draws on the National Survey of Families and Households, which sampled more than 5,000 couples around the United States.

In a related but as yet unpublished study by Wilcox, it was found that even women who support egalitarian ideas, those who think that men and women should both earn income and share housework equally, are happier in their marriages when their husbands earn the lion's share of income and when they do not work outside of the home.

Wilcox says that regardless of what married women say they believe about gender, they tend to have happier marriages when their husband is a good provider as long as he is also emotionally engaged.

Most research on American marriages has focused on the division of housework and paid work and who does what inside and outside the home.

This new study however shows wives care most about how affectionate and understanding their husbands are, and how much quality time they spend with their husbands.

Finally, women who have more traditional attitudes -- who believe, for instance, that women should take the lead in taking care of the home and family, and that men should take the lead in earning -- are happier in their marriages, report more affection and understanding from their husbands, and spend more quality time with their husbands.

Commitment also appears to matter and women who share with their husbands a strong commitment to lifelong marriage are much more likely to report that they are happy in their marriages, and that they are happy with the affection and understanding they receive from their husbands, compared to women who do not have such a commitment to marriage.

Shared commitment seems to generate mutual trust and higher levels of emotional investment on the part of husbands -- both factors which promote marital happiness among women.

Fairness does matter in shaping the quality and character of women's marriages.

Married women are happier in their marriages when they think housework is divided fairly and they perceive their marriage to be equitable.

Wilcox is an assistant professor of sociology at U.Va. and currently is serving as a resident fellow at the Institute for American Values in New York City.

Nock is a professor of sociology at U.Va.

To read article and studies: http://www.news-medical.net/?id=16353

The study appears in the March issue of Social Forces, and is available online as a pdf. The unpublished study by Wilcox is also linked.