PART 2 OF: Living In a Sexless Marriage? How To Create The Prince Charming You Planned To Marry

PART 2: "The Indisputable Power of a Woman - Written by a man"

This is part 2 of the controversial article "Living In a Sexless Marriage? How To Create The Prince Charming You Planned To Marry

In part 1 of this article, we discussed how women have the power to earn the complete and total devotion of their husbands if they are willing to be the FIRST to do something positive for their marriage.

Despite what most people think, the simple act of marriage does NOT guarantee a man or a woman's devotion to you. When resentment, selfishness and "what's in it for me" takes precedence over "to love and honor til death do us part", ALL BETS ARE OFF.

And here's what YOU, as a woman, can do about it...

You could learn of your husband's desires through a hand written note, a phone call, an email or even a long talk face-to-face.

Women "in the know" let it be known to their husband that he will never be "verbally attacked" for any desire he might express.

When you know your husband's inner-most desires, it's time for him to learn how to fulfill YOU as a woman!

You could start by describing in a playful way, what would make you really happy....

These are tasks that only your HUSBAND can fulfill. You might describe a day that starts with the breakfast in bed for you and the kids. Then throughout the day, your husband empties the garbage, cleans up after pets, repairs a broken step and then takes the kids down to the pool till noon.

You could excitedly chatter on about how might make plans for the babysitter to arrive at 7:00pm, so the two of you can have an evening of "alone time" at one of your favorite restaurants.

There, your husband would playfully dote over you and gaze at you across the table as if you were the only woman left in the world. By the end of the evening, it would be clear to you that no other woman in the world even COMPARES to you!

If your marriage is suffering and the two of you have lost the close connection you once had, it wouldn't hurt to try this out for yourself.

Here's what all this boils down to: When a wife explains how her husband can excite her, there are no words to describe what happens in her man. “Amazing”, “Profound” and “Awesome” all fall short. This is the power that only a woman has to profoundly move her husband toward an almost blind loyalty.

Just the fact that she genuinely wanted to hear his desires (in a playful and intriguing way) sends him in a totally new direction. Toward HER! Not to his friends, not to his golf game, not to his coaching, not to his career success…TO HER!

Now there is one word of caution I must point out: When marriages are failing, there is so much resentment built up in the relationship, that even when you try this technique, you may not see the results you originally hoped for.

You must also clean up "past hurts" with a “sweep away day”. Before you can take action on the technique above, the pain that you both inflicted upon each other at some point in the past must be faced, admitted and forgiven.

This is an act for a separate day. Before you undertake your “sweep away day”, you must know something about men.

Men are emotionally insecure in all but the rarest cases. When it comes to emotions, men know virtually nothing about their own feelings. Because feelings are something most men cannot process, talk about or understand, it’s easy for a man to be full of FEAR.

Most often, a man will disguise his fear under blame, cruel jokes, accusations or broadcasting what’s wrong with you to the world or worse…he could ignore you completely. No matter what the bad behavior, know this: Your man is dreadfully afraid of being rejected by you. If you’ve been treated badly, his fear of rejection is behind it all.

Men have no ability to feel fearless when it comes to the subject of learning how to make you happy. It’s such a risky subject with so many possibilities of rejection that most men decide to never even approach it. They unconsciously think it's far better to stay on the safe subjects of kids doing homework, new job opportunities or asking why you forgot to buy the peanut butter than face up to the reality of your rejection.

I hope you're beginning to see that a woman has an indisputable power to create the man of her dreams. A man has virtually no power to create the woman of his dreams. He wouldn't even know where to begin.

To become one of these rare "women in the know" follow this action plan below:

Step 1: Plan your “sweep away day” and admit how you might have hurt him in the past. Admit it, ask his forgiveness and sweep it away. Next, ask him if he has anything he wants to share with you, but don’t push. Let him forgive and forget for awhile. Get back to the business of living but begin planning how you are going to approach him to discover his inner-most desires and wishes. Be sure to speak to him with a playful sense of excitement in your voice. Just get him to look forward to it.

Step 2: Plan the day you will learn about his desires. When you finish hearing about his desires and you’ve reacted to what he says with playfulness and smiles, ask him if he wants to learn how to turn you on completely. Share this with him when he enthusiastically wants to hear the answer. It's really important to inject a certain level of playfulness in this - don’t just rattle off your list.

Step 3: Once you know what he wants and he knows what you want, begin to talk about a planned date on the calendar when YOU will get the day that you want and HE will get the night he won’t forget.

But always remember: Be fun, be playful and create exciting expectations during these conversations. You love this man, right? SO SHOW IT! Before your big day, get your husband to once again share his desires through phone calls and emails. You will also be sharing what you talked about as well. Remember: It all leads up to your husband hearing you say what all men dream of… “You excite me”.

Step 4: On the big day, watch him work! See how motivated he is to do all you've talked about over the past few weeks. NEVER criticize anything he does. Support his intent, not his execution. Notice all he does and compliment him. Be playful with little kisses, little hugs, and little hints of encouragement all day. On the big day, let yourself go. This is the man who wants to fulfill you. Let him.

The more excited you become throughout your private evening, there is only one conclusion your man can draw from all of this. He got you to feel that way. You’ve arrived! You are one of those unique, unusual and rarest of the rare… a "woman in the know".

WARNING! I must make ONE exception as to who this technique was designed for:

If you are a woman from a traumatized childhood, where your first ten years on Earth were met by emotional or physical abuse, you will find these instructions almost impossible to understand.

The reason? The pain of those years keeps re-playing inside you and never lets you rest, relax, enjoy, forget and just live. That childhood pain can be so pressing that loving anyone else becomes an insurmountable climb to Mount Everest. If this describes you, don’t attempt this climb yet. You’re probably not ready.

You need to find relief so you can cut that pain out of your life. You can start by reading my free article, Your Invisible Lifestyle: Is it Helping or Hurting Your Marriage? I believe you may find something here that could lead you to the relief you’re seeking so you can finally become a woman with an undisputable power to create the man of your dreams.

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Since the publication of this article, I have been overwhelmed with strong female opinions against my stance. For this reason, I have attached the following epilogue addressing these concerns...

I reference an excellent quote from one woman who read about the technique described above. This quote perfectly portrays the vast majority of American women who want their men to start meeting their needs.

"A woman would like conversation but is not allowed to interrupt during the football games, or the golf games, or the basketball games, or the baseball games, or the evening news but she should be ecstatic and ready to drop whatever she was doing when he desires to have sex with her - and she should be thrilled he is giving her his time???..

Here's what all this boils down to: Who will be the first one to put their spouse's desires ahead of their own? THE HUSBAND? OR THE WIFE?

My question to you is this: Who is more difficult to please? The man or the woman?

Is a man hard to please? Sometimes.

If the man has a very damaged childhood, he is VERY hard to please, but if he is not too damaged, he is easy to please because there is ONE thing he wants to hear again and again… "you excite me".

But is a woman hard to please?

The vast majority of women are complex to the point that they don't understand what makes them feel fulfilled and happy. If a woman cannot understand or explain all that is required to please her, how could a man who has no understanding of emotions?

Let's take a look at a woman's emotional needs: Now tell me, are these complex?

• She wants a man thinking of her not only when she is NOT around, BUT ALSO...when she IS.

• He should make her breakfast , take her out for coffee when she least expects it, notice that she is tired and take over some of her normal chores, give her surprise back rubs at the kitchen table, bring her home a relevant little gift on a Tuesday and more.

• Women are "into" their children, relatives, friends, pets, anything or anyone that can be cared for. When a man takes an interest in asking about any person she cares about and does it with CONCERN, she lights up like a Christmas tree. When he cares for the people she cares about, it's a big “turn on”.
  

• She wants her husband to listen with interest as she talks. She talks not for the purpose of exchanging information, but because she's wired to pour herself into other people. This takes place when he listens to anything that comes out of her mouth. Each time he listens and says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?”, he's allowing her to pour herself into him.

• Women want to feel PHYSICALLY safe and they want to know that their man will do all that is required to make her feel protected.
  

Now on the opposite end of the spectrum, here are the needs of a man:

Now I pose the same question to you again, are these needs complex?

• He wants to hear her say "you excite me!"

At the foundation of this article, is the following rational:

By nature alone, men far more selfish than women when their needs are not being met. Women are less selfish by nature, even if their needs are not met by their husbands.

Now back to the most important question: Who should make the first move to meet their spouse's needs?

The Woman Has An Undeniable Power Over A man.

1. Because her giving nature
2. Because of her sexual power which a man craves
3. Because of the simplicity of a man's greatest desire..."you excite me!"

Think of it this way "You can pump an unused pump till your back breaks and still, no water will come out of the ground. But when you pour about three quarts of water down the pump first, in short order, gallons will flow out effortlessly.

It's no different with your marriage.

Should any woman decide to "prime the male pump", if done correctly, her man will hear her say "you excite me!" The next morning, she will discover that her man...

• Thinks of her when she is not around and when she is.

• Does things like make her breakfast , take her out for coffee, notice she is tired and take over normal chores, give her surprise back rubs, bring home a relevant little gift and more.

• Takes an interest in asking about people she cares about and does it with concern.

• Smiles at her a lot.

• Listens with interest as she talks and allows her to pour herself into him through conversation. As he listens, he says “Oh, no kidding!” or “So what did you do then?
  

• Makes sure she is always feeling physically safe and does what he must so she feels protected.

All this would happen without her asking, demanding, nagging or defending. A woman can create the man of her dreams in a week...I've seen it happen over and over again with women I work with who are "in the know".

Why else would the phrase "That poor pathetic slob" only be applied to men, but never to women? It's because, compared to women, men are so simple and so completely ignorant of relationships.

So what's the moral of the story? Prime the pump and be rewarded ladies.

Now I have to mention that if you just can't bring yourself to take the first move and create the man of your dreams...

...or if your husband wants nothing to do with the marriage...

...or if you are a MAN reading this and you WISH your wife would try this technique but you realize there's not a chance that she would at this point...

...then know that there IS STILL HOPE FOR YOU...

If you haven't submitted an entry for my Second Chance program already, I would strongly suggest that you do so right now.


Here's how it works:

1. Tell me why you think your marriage deserves a second chance by submitting your entry here: Give Your Marriage A Second Chance

2. Call my assistant Kristen at 262-644-6815 or email her at kristen @ stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com to arrange a time for us to speak one-on-one for a complementary, 30 minute consultation.


During our call together, I will help you understand HOW your marriage has gotten to this level of despair and also give you my 3-step plan on how you can save your marriage WITH or WITHOUT your spouse's participation.

Now I realize that some people are skeptical as to how one person can save their marriage when their spouse has already filed for divorce, said, "I don't love you anymore" or moved out of the home...

But the real secret is becoming what I call "an environment changer". This is one of the methods I teach in my Marriage Lifeline program that has successfully helped individuals save their marriage...even when their spouse had NO part of it at all.

It IS possible to transform your marriage alone. I have PERSONALLY saved my own marriage and now I'd like to help you do the same. It only takes one to heal a marriage.

If you're 100% devoted to saving your marriage, you have what it takes to become one of my many success stories.

So submit your entry to my Second Chance program today.

There is no obligation to buy anything, I simply offer this service to couples as a way to find out if there is STILL hope for their marriage. If you have any questions, once again, feel free to contact my assistant Kristen at 262-644-6815. She'd be happy to answer any questions you have.

To a less stressful and more fulfilling marriage.

Larry Bilotta